How To Repair A Relationship After An Infidelity

It is possible to regain trust in your partner after an infidelity. However, this event often leads to a separation and can completely ruin a relationship.

Of course one infidelity it is not something to be treated lightly. We must be very clear that it is an act that completely betrays the confidence, self-esteem and feelings of the couple.  A healthy relationship must start with a strong emotional bond. Therefore, we must take care of this bond and give it the corresponding importance.

How do we know if it is an emotional matter?

According to a study by the psychologist Alejandro Navarrete, 82% of couples who confessed to having fallen into infidelity say that it all started with who was “just a friend.”

Many times infidelities begin without being premeditated . This is why it is important to have a strong relationship , where the emotional bond is highly valued and is constantly worked on. This is suggested by this study carried out by the Open University of Catalonia.

If there is an infidelity, the important thing is that the person who was unfaithful admits it . On the other hand, the person who was betrayed should ask himself these questions:

• How I feel?
• Are things really worth fixing?
• Is it better to end the relationship?
• Is it the first time you have been unfaithful to me?

They also have to consider the possibility that even though the relationship continues, it may not be the same as before, as they cannot put what happened behind them.

Is the opinion of others important?

On many occasions it is convenient to consult with other people who perhaps know a little more about infidelity. This is entirely up to you. The opinions that you accept in your personal relationship will be your decision.

One of the difficulties of finding out about an infidelity is how it was discovered. This will help decide how we should move forward and what is most relevant to you in the future.

Realize that most people meddle in other people’s business with the intention of helping. This can cause you discomfort and perhaps the impression that everyone knew it except you.   Take time to analyze the situation. You will see that this does not necessarily have to be the case.

After an infidelity express your feelings

Talk to your partner when you feel ready. Tell her what hurt you and what you need her to do to make you trust her again. Give him the reasons why he needs to be trustworthy.

In these cases it is important to express your feelings with words rather than with your body. If you feel that you cannot have a healthy physical contact with your partner, it is best to keep your distance.

Even if you feel helpless and angry, you will achieve nothing with punching, hitting or any other type of violence in general.  Although it seems logical at the time, it is not the opportunity to hurt your partner. This will not make you feel better. On the contrary, you will harm him unnecessarily.

Listening is also important

Allow your partner to tell you what is missing in the relationship and if he or she thinks it is worth fixing. Everything will be lost if only you are willing to fight to recover a broken relationship.  If your partner doesn’t want to continue, it will be appropriate for you to talk about ending the relationship.

Keep in mind at all times that this is a conversation about your feelings. It is not the occasion to fight or claim. Listen carefully and see if you can really give her what she needs.

In some cases, infidelity occurs because your partner feels rejected and did not know how to communicate it with you. It also often happens that the relationship is no longer as satisfactory as the other person wishes.

You must have a sincere talk and accept your partner’s feelings. Remember that their emotions and needs are true and important even if you disagree with them.  If you really cannot tolerate them or do not consider them important, consider finishing the relationship .

Be responsible

You must both take responsibility for your mistakes. You cannot go back in time and repair infidelity.  What they can do is accept what was right and wrong in each one’s actions . This will allow them to improve future actions and make the most appropriate decision.

Deciding to move on after an infidelity

If it is very difficult for you and your partner to overcome the situation, it is convenient to turn to an expert to guide you on the right path to improve the relationship.

Especially if some external factor further complicates the relationship. It is essential to cut off all communication with the person with whom you were unfaithful.  Otherwise it is very difficult for the injured person to regain confidence . 

It is important to establish “rules”

Reach a mutual agreement, each defining very literally what you expect from the other person. Consider starting repair the relationship from the ground up.

It is important that you take into account each aspect. If you leave something to the assumption, they can generate future problems and misunderstandings that harm the healing process.

Above all things, love yourself. Don’t take responsibility for problems that weren’t your fault  and keep moving.  Don’t let going through this situation keep you from being who you are and moving forward.