10 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist
A narcissistic partner will end up making you feel like you’re inferior. Although they are great conquerors at first, when the game is over, it may make you feel guilty, belittled, and undervalued.
Perhaps there are some signs in your relationship that make you feel really uncomfortable. However, you have not yet been able to identify the exact reason. He talks too much about himself and his problems and projects an idealized image of himself that, if you think about it, is not exactly the real one… So, perhaps, you are dating a narcissist. In this article, we will tell you some signs and also what to do.
The narcissistic personality
According to psychologist Stephen Johnson, a narcissist is a person who “has buried the true expression of himself in response to early wounds, and has replaced it with a false, highly developed, compensatory self. “
Therefore, the traditional image of the narcissist in love with himself is not the image that corresponds to the real narcissist. On the contrary, the narcissist is not in love with himself, far from it, but is in love with the idealized image that he has made of himself.
In reality, they are deeply wounded people with low self-esteem, who hide under an idealized self in order not to face reality. It is not easy to deal with a narcissist. In fact, your need to feel superior and idealized can even lead you to belittle and underestimate the other.
So here are some typical behaviors of a narcissist, and what you can do about it.
1. Your conversation is not a conversation
Having a conversation with a narcissist can turn into infinite boredom, a truly frustrating experience. This is so because, in reality, the narcissist does not “converse”, but rather has an endless and tedious monologue. It is not a dialogue, there is no exchange.
In fact, even if you try to take a turn to speak with some “good”, “well”, “actually”, it will not allow you to participate. And this because the narcissist knows everything and better than anyone. Your comments, if you manage to express them, will be ignored or corrected.
For this reason, it is normal for you to feel really frustrated after trying to converse with a narcissist.
2. The conversation revolves around “me, me, me and me too”
The topic of conversation will always end up revolving around himself. In fact, even in conversations with more people, he will always try to take turns turning the conversation back on himself. For this reason, narcissists are people who constantly interrupt, taking turns speaking without respecting others.
In addition, not only do they not listen to others, but they end up ignoring them and monopolizing any evening. For this reason, if your partner is a narcissist, it stands to reason that you feel belittled and undervalued.
3. Likes to break the rules
The narcissist needs to feel different and superior. For this reason, it is common for narcissistic people to enjoy breaking some rules. For example, not respecting some traffic rules, taking home office supplies, etc.
These actions make them feel that they are above the rules, laws and society. They feel that they are unpunished and superior.
4. You are dating a narcissist and he doesn’t respect boundaries.
As a superior being, you are below. For this reason, the narcissist will not respect you, nor will he attend to your needs. He is the priority. Has he asked you for money and has never returned it? Does he show pride in your feelings or achievements, belittling them? So maybe you’re dating a narcissist.
5. Projects a false image of yourself
It is the basic external characteristic of the narcissist. They spend too much time getting ready, for example, because they have to impress others. In addition, they usually even take pride in front of others : “Look how good this feels to me”, “Look how special I am”.
In effect, they must create the idea in others that they need to be admired. However, in reality, they are deeply insecure beings with low self-esteem.
6. It should be the center of your world when you are dating a narcissist.
Not only are your needs less important, the narcissist expects you to cover his in a preferential way. In the couple, the narcissist considers that it is the most outstanding element of the couple, so he will demand that you pay attention at all times, without considering your needs and obligations.
7. At first, it was charming
When he tried to conquer you he was charming. You saw a charismatic and persuasive person, charming and detailed. However, as the relationship progressed and the interest in conquering disappeared, you were relegated to second place.
The narcissist must be the best at everything. Therefore, he must also be an ideal conqueror. Once you are bored with the game, things are very different.
8. If you are dating a narcissist, he is an exceptional hero.
By feeling superior, he creates an idealized image of himself that he himself creates. In effect, she presents herself as a hero or heroine, someone extremely exceptional and superior to others. For this reason, he will be convinced that you are nothing without him.
9. Some narcissists are victimizers.
A good way to get the attention of others is to present yourself as a victim. In this way, they will make you forget your needs and focus on them. Your goal from the beginning.
However, this can also happen at any time. The narcissist tends to be constantly “alluded to,” in a way that makes you feel guilty about how you treat him if it is not what he wants.
10. He is a manipulator
The others are nothing more than something or someone to use to meet your needs. For example, they can choose a partner who is a really beautiful person physically only to show others a certain status.
How to act if you are dating a narcissist
If you want things to change, you have to be more assertive. So:
- First of all, show that it bothers you. In effect, you must imply the things that bother you, such as not being able to carry on a conversation, that their needs are always the priority, etc. Talk about how important you are too and have your own needs and demands.
- Stay positive. Even when explaining to the narcissist that you exist too, you should do it in a way that does not understand that such a situation bothers you too much. Indeed, if you express yourself as really angry, you may even be reaffirming his superiority, as if you agreed with him.
- Stay focused. Although the narcissistic person tries at all times to make you see that he and his goals are more important, remember that you also have yours. Don’t get carried away and don’t forget that you too have personality, needs, goals and dreams.
- Recognize that this person needs help. If you want to continue with the relationship, it is important that you understand that the narcissist, deep down, is an insecure person with low self-esteem. Perhaps, in this sense, you can even help him.
Do you recognize some of these signs? Take action. Either leaving the relationship because it makes you feel bad or continuing with it, do not forget that you are as important as the other person.
