Happiness Must Be Born From Within, Not Next To Anyone

Happiness can be built in many different ways. Whether alone or next to a loved one, this positive and rewarding emotion always starts from a very specific place: our emotional brain.

For this reason we must be clear about an essential aspect: being with someone we love is something wonderful but, sometimes, even having the best partner in the world, if we are not good with ourselves, complete happiness will never be possible.

Well-being, balance and joy are always born from within us. The peace of our hearts feeling good about all that we are and have is the best way to happiness, whether alone or in company. We invite you to reflect on it.

Happiness is an inner path

In recent decades, if there is a topic that is increasingly sought after in bookstores, it is that of personal growth or how to build our happiness in these difficult times. At our fingertips we have, for example, renowned authors such as the psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, professor of positive psychology at Harvard and a true guru on the subject.

Thus, something that Professor Sahar reminds us is that to be happy, people should work on three dimensions:

• Allowing ourselves to be human, that is, accepting negative emotions, assuming our mistakes and weaknesses.
• Learn to connect mind and body.
• Develop and practice gratitude.

As we can see, these dimensions are not on the outside. That is, happiness, according to one of the leading experts on the subject, does not depend on material goods or our status. It is an inside job. We cannot ignore that currently, something that we all have clear is the great relevance of aspects such as emotional intelligence, stress management, inner connection, empathy …

Investing in personal development is a direct bridge to happiness and also to improve our personal relationships. Without that first step, without that responsibility to ourselves, growth is not possible. Well-being is not real.

A look that learns to connect with its own needs

It was from the 90s with authors like Daniel Goleman when we finally learned the importance of emotional intelligence. And not only that. In studies such as the one published in 2005 by the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine they remind us that there is a correlation between factors such as emotional and behavioral compassion and being happier.

Also, a recommended book on this subject and that can invite us to reflect is Can be happy in Alaska . Focused from cognitive psychology, it helps us in a playful and practical way to face such complex situations as stress, depression or anxiety.

Likewise, one aspect that this reading reveals is the following: beyond where we are, beyond even the people around us, there is the ability to take care of ourselves. To love us. A look that knows how to respect and understand itself knows how to look at the present with hope.

Happiness is the absence of fear

Happiness is above all fearlessness. Furthermore, to be happy we must be able to deal with adversity, to know how to apply appropriate strategies to work with negative emotions, to put aside the relationships that hurt us, the dynamics that wear us out …

Fear has an essential evolutionary utility. Thus, studies such as the one published in 2002 in the journal Dialogues in clinical neuroscience , show us that thanks to this dimension we have managed to survive as a species. Now, it can be said that sometimes we make excessive use and abuse of this dimension.

They are those extreme (and everyday) situations where we allow fear to take absolute control of our lives. An example of this are the following situations:

• Fear to loneliness.
• Fear of not being loved as we want.
• Fear of not achieving the goals we set ourselves every day.
• Anguish for not being like others expect us to be.
• Fear that things will change – or that they will not change.
• Restlessness to lose certain things, certain people.

All of these are situations that can be known to us. So the first step in building that inner happiness may be to rationalize fear, understand it, and belittle it. One way to achieve this is precisely by strengthening our self-esteem and avoiding being so “attached” to things or people.

Learn to walk lightly

Walking lightly does not mean at all that we should not have anyone by our side. Unlike. Few things are as wonderful as taking our family, our partner, and those friends who are treasures in our hearts by the hand.

• Now, these companions of life must allow us, in turn, to “walk lightly”. Who likes to stand on our back to remind us of our failures, to whisper to us where we should go and which paths to avoid does not favor our growth or our happiness.
• Walking without weights is knowing how to put aside what hurts, what vetoes our self-esteem and identity.
• Moving forward in freedom also implies knowing what our priorities are. This is a reflection exercise that we invite you to carry out right now.

Once we know what is most important to us, we just have to fight for it. Everything else is secondary.

Self love is a relationship that should last a lifetime

Happiness is a state that comes and goes, we know that. We also understand that the fundamental thing is to have that internal balance where thoughts harmonize with our emotions and in turn, with the actions we carry out every day.

• This perfect mechanism where mind and emotions go hand in hand to be calm creators of our reality also starts from an essential psychological construct: self-love.
• Self-love is that bond that binds us to ourselves and not to anyone’s side. Others are not the ones to tell you when to be happy and when not according to their whims.
• It is we ourselves who must fight every day for our well-being using self-love.

When a person is well with himself, when he turns off his fears and sows his horizon with illusions, then happiness starts from within him to embrace those around him. It is something worth promoting.