How To Stop Being A Passive-aggressive Person?

It is possible that the passive-aggressive person lacks certain social skills or does not know how to develop them and uses this behavior to fill gaps or protect themselves.

A passive-aggressive person has very clear characteristics. For example, they tend to show passive resistance, which they present with resentment and frustration, they find it difficult to be assertive and, on many occasions, they may fall into emotional blackmail.

If you notice that anger consumes you, that you are not able to express what you think or feel, that you act condescendingly, although, at the same time, you show passive resistance, then you may have various problems in your relationships.

To solve them, you need to stop being a passive-aggressive person. But how to do it? We will tell you about it below.

Abandon the passive-aggressive attitude

As the psychologist and author Valeria Sabater explains: “there is a curious fact, and that is that it  is easier for us to identify this behavior in others rather than in ourselves. We must bear this in mind : we are all susceptible to applying such harmful dynamics ”. 

In certain circumstances, we can all be passive-aggressive. Now, if you notice that this type of behavior is not punctual, but rather regular in your day to day life, the first step to change it (for the better), grow and improve interpersonal relationships is to recognize it. 

Let’s see below other steps that will help you stop being a passive-aggressive person. Applying them will allow you to work on your emotional intelligence and, at the same time, improve your relationships with others in a very evident way.

1. Why are you behaving like this?

This is one of the questions you have to ask yourself in order to find the reason for this behavior. Perhaps you are not able to tolerate a refusal, you can not bear to be criticized (even if it is constructive criticism) or you have a great fear of rejection.

• It is important that you analyze your response to this reality. Do you go for sarcasm? Do you use silence as a way to punish?
• Understanding how you behave in different situations will allow you to have a deeper understanding of what happens to you and what triggers it.

2. Make an effort to express what you feel

Expressing that something is bothering you, that it has hurt you or that you feel terribly offended by it does not have to be a bad thing.

• You can express what you feel or think in a kind way.
• If you don’t, others will not know what is happening to you and they will feel lost because of your passive-aggressive behavior.

For this, it is very important to start managing emotions. Writing an emotional journal, even going to a professional to help you deal with them, will allow you to observe your feelings, accept them, and release (express) them. You will take a great weight off your shoulders.

3. Improve your social skills

Perhaps the fact that you are a passive-aggressive person has to do with the fact that you lack certain social skills. This has a solution and one of the most important is assertiveness, which is closely connected with the previous point.

• Assertiveness allows us to express our needs and desires without repressing them.
• Also, it helps us to stop being patronizing, to start being ourselves in all essence.
• Many people seek outside approval or pleasing. This is something to overcome.

The relationships in your environment may have influenced you

The relationships that have existed in your environment, especially that of your parents, can be a great influence on the relationships you have today. This is very important to bear in mind, as you may be acting by inertia or by imitation.

If your father, mother, or both, are passive-aggressive people, it is very possible that you repeat that same attitude without realizing it and without consciously choosing this behavior. Needless to say, it is important not to blame, assume your own attitudes  and have an open mind.

Being aware of what happens to us begins by opening ourselves to the possibility that we are not perfect. Many people tend to deny what happens to them. Not acknowledging that you are a passive-aggressive person will not give you any kind of advancement.

Your relationships will remain the same, your attitude the same… However, in the end, the only person who suffers and is affected by this is you. Therefore, it is important to be aware of our actions and not refuse to see them.

The sooner you get down to work to solve this attitude that can cause so much suffering, the sooner you can find a solution. We recommend that, if the information you can find on your own is not enough and if you feel lost, you turn to a professional.

Psychologists always provide you with tools and exercises that will help you move forward and that you yourself are aware of that progress.

Are you ready to stop being a passive-aggressive person and have healthier relationships? Cheer up! It’s worth working on!